Already Lost her
by Joy1
Summary: Logan's work to avoid his feelings final drives Max to good bye, but not if Bling has anything to say about it


Title: Already Lost Her

Name: Joy 

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

Rating: R

Summary: Logan discovers the cost of being ambivalent and manipulative 

Setting: Logan's apartment

"I can't believe you don't remember watching the Superbowl as a kid," Bling said to Logan dumbfounded.

"I was never really into football."

"Logan, didn't you set the alarm before we left?"

"Yeah. Why? Is it off? Huh.... Max, you here?" Logan called as he rolled over to his office. Max was sitting in front of Logan's laptop. "Didn't you hear me? I missed you for dinner last night."

"Sorry.... I got what I was looking for so I'm gonna blaze." Logan rode after her. Max seemed completely cold. Not even angry just distant. Bling steeped out and stopped her He looked into her eyes for a while.

"Logan, go make some tea," Bling said.

"But, Max..." 

"Go make tea, then play on your computer," Bling said commanding. 

****

//Bling has never spoken to me that way before//

Bling walked Max over to the couch by the far window. He sat her down and she did not resist. Max looked hollow. Something was very wrong. "Max..." Bling said quietly, "obviously something is wrong so why don't you go ahead and tell me what it is."

"Why should I trust you?" she said with venom.

"Because I have never given you reason not to trust me."

"You work for him," She seethed.

****

// OK she is angry, very angry, with Logan. //

"Logan isn't worth a name any more.... Whatever you say to me stays with me.

Physical Therapist privilege," Bling said with a smile.

Max's face went hollow again; "I'm leaving.... I can't keep this up. I was searching his computer for safe houses."

"So far I have gotten you are mad at Logan so you are leaving Seattle...You remember you survived for years here without seeing him," Bling offered.

"Like he would ever let me go. I am his surrogate legs. I am his fucking girl Friday. He would not leave me alone," Max said feeling trapped.

"So you want out?" Bling asked.

"I am done. No more Eyes Only. No more Logan Cale. No more being manipulated for his end."

"Manipulated by Logan?" Bling said gently.

Max looked deeply into Bling's eyes and said, "I wouldn't put it past him to sleep with me to get me to stay, keep going."

Bling tried to process what he was hearing. He knew Logan had real feelings for Max but it was obviously being lost in his translation. "I thought things were going well. I mean you two are slower then snails, but I thought you were headed in the right direction. What happened?"

"The last few weeks happened. Paging me at all hours. Not understanding I have a life that does not always include him and the crusade. Demanding I come over. Demanding I put myself at risk and then when I call him on it he pulls a romantic dinner to make it all better. I have just had enough," Max explained keenly aware that Logan was still only a few rooms away.

"Max, I know Logan can be difficult but something else must have triggered it, other then just his Only Child Syndrome. What is this really all about?" Bling asked patiently.

Max gritted her teeth. She hated that she could be that transparent with Bling. It was like she was losing her edge, but that seemed to be what Logan was doing to her. "It started with my escape to Canada. We sat in his car and tried to say goodbye. He told me he would miss me. I told him he could come with me. He said he had to stay for the **cause**," Max was pissed saying it out loud. "I headed to towards the house and then turned back. I thought it would be the last time I would see him so I kissed him," she looked at her feet as she continued. "He kissed me back and looked into my eyes for a few seconds and then told me to go. The next day I just knew there was something wrong with him that is why I called. It didn't matter what I had to face I just knew I had to get to Logan,"

Max paused.

She got up and stood by the window. Bling followed. Max began again, "I fought Zach and dodged Lydecker's man hunt. When I got to the hospital they said Logan needed blood so I gave him blood. I gave him so much blood I was too dizzy to get away. I got caught trying to save him. I knew I was headed back to Manticore and it didn't even matter just as long as Logan was all right. You know he never actually thanked me," turning and facing Bling. "When we talked it over later I pulled an "I was real emotional" line to dodge any real feeling conversation. We let it drop but it felt like something had changed. I tried to move forward just a little by having him over for dinner. Logan just went head long into work, demanding when we did things and how. It's dumb but I went to a lot of trouble and he didn't even care." Max turned full around to face Bling completely, "When Logan thought I wouldn't work for him anymore he pulls the nice dinner on his terms again. He turned down the cause that night saying, "the world will still be broken in the morning." He got me for a while with that one, but now we are back to the demands...I need out. Logan doesn't care and I need to get over it."

Bling had been silent the whole time just letting Max vent. She had done something Bling had thought impossible. Max admitted how she felt about Logan and how Logan had hurt her. "I guess I can know this because he orders me around too."

"I guess," she managed.

"Max nothing I can say will make this better. Please just don't leave town. I want you to stay at my place because Logan will never think to look for you there," Bling said having begun to plot.

"What are you talking about?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I said I know Logan has feelings for you so I am just going to force the point with him."

"How am I expected to know it is genuine?" Max asked.

"I will handle Mr. Cale. You just let your friends know that you are taking a hideous from Logan. OK," Bling stated. 

"Alright. I will head to your place."

*******************************************************************************

The door shut behind Max as she shook her head trying to figure out what Bling was about to do. 

"Where did Max go?" Logan asked like a little boy.

Bling was in prosecutor mode by the time Logan finished his first sentence; "She left."

"Without saying goodbye?"

"Yes, Cale. People tend to not like to see the people that hurt them. But that will not be a problem any longer."

"What are you talking about?" Logan asked in a panic.

"Max will no longer be working with Eyes Only. She gathered the remaining information you found and I have connected her with an investigator she can trust," Bling presented completely lying.

Logan just stared at Bling blinking ever so often as if at any moment he would wake up. He had no idea what was going on or why. "Are you trying to tell me Max is not coming back?" Logan murmured.

"Yes, Logan. Max is not coming back." 

The words crashed down around Logan. He rolled over to the window. "It should be raining," Logan said pathetically. "Why did she leave...me?"

"She decided the manipulation needed to stop and frankly I agree with her. You were always playing with her emotions to get your way. She doesn't trust you so she walked away," Bling stated plainly.

The words were getting worse. "Manipulation?"

"Logan she told me she wouldn't put it past you to sleep with her to keep her working with Eyes Only." Bling knew that would send him over the top. Logan loved Max even if he had never said it out loud. Logan could never handle the thought that Max would think him such a bastard to do such a thing. 

Logan shook in his chair. Normally he would have lashed out or argued but there seemed such finality to the situation since Bling delivered the message. "What can I do? How can I fix this?" Logan muttered with emotions welling up inside him. Logan picked up the phone instinctively.

"Don't bother with her pager. She will not be returning your calls," Bling stood over Logan as he still held the phone. "By the way she has moved out of her apartment knowing you would come after her."

Logan hung up the phone and spun around to look at Bling. Bling's cool demeanor let him know this was not some sadistic joke. "You make it sound like she is afraid of me."

"Not afraid, just cautious. She doesn't know what you might do with the information you have on her. You might try to black mail her back or sell her out," Bling said as coldly as possible. Bling knew this was the last piece he really had to force Logan's hand. If this didn't break him, nothing would. 

Tears swelled in Logan's eyes as he said, "I love her. How could she think I would try to hurt her." 

****

//Bingo. He said it out loud. He loves her. // 

"You call the way you have been treating Max as love. Demands, demands, demands, then a romantic dinner to make up for your behavior. Sounds like an abusive model to me."

"I have risked my life for her," Logan protested.

"Marginal danger and most easily explained as protecting your Supergirl for the **cause**. Besides Max has risked her life for you many more times."

Logan sat silently in his chair for a long time; "I've lost her because I couldn't deal with the sacrifice she was willing to make for me. That's it, isn't it?"

"Yes Logan."

"I don't want to lose her."

"You already lost her." Bling stated.

"There must be something I can do to prove I love her," Logan began. 

"Anything you would buy her would be a thing."

"Can you arrange a way for me to see Max please? I have a sacrifice I need to give her," Logan said sheepishly.

Bling raised an eyebrow and said, "I will be the judge of if it is worth her time."

*********************************************************************************

Bling came home to find Max sitting in his windowsill. "Are you up for seeing Logan tomorrow?" 

"Why it will be the same old bull?" Max responded.

"No, it won't. I promise. Logan has what I believe is the best way to show you what he feels for you," Bling said as Max looked at him blankly.

*********************************************************************************

Logan was seated at a table at Crash when Bling walked Max in. "It will be fine. I promise. I'll be right here at the bar."

Max walked to the table where Logan was. She had a thousand-yard stare going. He had done that. Her eyes weren't even angry. If there had been anger that would mean she still cared a little. 

****

// This has to work. It just has to. //

"Max," Logan began, "I have screwed up royally. I didn't know how to act after you sacrificed so much for me. I am so sorry. I know these are just words but I made a sacrifice for you. I thought this would be the best place..."

Logan was cut off by the sound of the TV started playing, "Do not adjust your set..." It was an Eyes Only hack....without Logan. Max looked bewildered and confused. **//At least she is out of the stare.//** Then Logan saw fear in her eyes, large amounts of fear. Max left the table and headed out the door. Logan rode after her. Bling watched from the bar hoping they would work it out.

"MAX!" Logan yelled in the rain. She stopped as he rode over to her. 

"What the hell was that? I didn't ask you to do that!" Max yelled.

"I know. It was the best way to prove to you I love you and I am not just using you for Eyes Only. You mean more to me then it."

"No I don't. You will blame me for giving up you dream," Max yelled again.

"No I won't. I have been obsessed since the accident. There is no way around it. Partly that was because of you, it was a way to get to see you. I can still help in the fight, I just don't have to be in charge of it. I don't want to be Eyes Only if I lose you," Logan pled. 

"But I can't take the place of it in your life. That is just asking to much," Max whimpered putting her hands to her head.

"Max, you nearly got taken back to Manticore to save my life and I didn't know how to respond. I do now. When I call you it will be as Logan. Only Logan. There will be no more putting your life in danger or ordering you around. Just give me a chance to earn back your trust and to earn you love."

Max just stood in the rain letting all the words wash over her. **//What the hell has just happened. On the day I decide to leave Eyes Only Logan decides not to be Eyes Only anymore. Bling doesn't believe this is a trick. He believes Logan is on the level. What did Bling do? // **

"I don't know what to do say," Max mustered.

"Just tell me I get to see you again after tonight. Tell me I have reached you somewhere.... I love you Max.... I love you." Logan pulled Max into his lap. He held her there for a while before speaking again. She didn't attempt to leave she wasn't fighting him. "Max, I would also like you to help me with my rehabilitation. I have been very proud about my injuries and have not wanted to ask for help. I do need you. I need you not my alter ego…I am working on the vulnerability thing here…I would rather change my whole life than lose you."

Max leaned up and kissed Logan so softly and put her arms around him. "I suppose I can some over and kick your butt into shape. I have to admit, I like you needing me," Max hanging her head.

"I'm sorry it took Bling telling me I had lost you before I realized you were slipping away. That will never happen again," Logan said softly as he pulled her head up and kissed her.

They clung to each other until Bling came out of Crash. He chuckled and pushed them both to Logan's car. The couple just looked up at their friend. "You two are the sorriest bunch of scaredy cats I have ever met. Now get yourselves home and show Max your lack of electronics," Bling commanded.

"Yes sir." Logan said gratefully.


End file.
